I’m going to start off with clarifying I am trying to not use the word ‘diet’. My choice words will be ‘lifestyle change’. This is to remind me that this whole experience is not just changing the food I eat, but ultimately change habits that I am recognizing more and more to be extremely detrimental to my health. This lifestyle change began four days ago, and I am already being too hard on myself. I keep initially trying to make sure everything I eat fully fits into the lifestyle change but then quickly get overwhelmed with the idea of making the change immediately. My husband has been having to remind me that this is a process and it will take time.
Tonight we went to Trader Jo’s, and bought some food that fit (or mostly fit) my dietitian’s parameters of ‘good food’. Cauliflower crust in the frozen section made for a good pizza!
I later realized it still has cheese on it, but hey! It’s a start… I also threw some mushrooms and olives on there. I picked up some edamame, brown rice, black beans, plums, and pumpkin seeds, several of these things I already know I like and eat regularly.
Today was the next step in the journey for me and I am proud of myself for taking it. Small changes add up over time and are much less overwhelming. I’m also very excited about trying lots of new food and learning new cooking skills with my husband.
Today I went to a nutrition counselor for ‘nutrition lifestyle changes’. While, yes, I did lose 30 plus pounds and am at a healthy weight, that does not mean my body is healthy.
I arrived about 10 minutes early for my appointment and my husband came with. When I was handed the paperwork to fill out, I became increasingly anxious and embarrassed. I had to be honest about how mediocre I eat and have been eating for a while now. I pretty much eat the same five things. I am the child who will only eat chicken nuggets. The worst part is, that I actually LOVE fruits and vegetables. So why have I been treating my body so poorly for so long? Honestly, I felt like not only it wasn’t worth the effort, time or energy; that I wasn’t worth it either. With my husband & friend’s support and encouragement, I know that I am.
People might not know, and its easy for me to forget, that I worked hard to get to where I am with myself. My very first CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) appointment was December 11th, 2017. It has been a year and 7 months of tears, stress, meltdowns, and incredibly hard work.
This has been such a journey already and I am very pleased with the progress I have already made and look forward to the progress I will continue to make. Although this isn’t the beginning, this is the first step in the next leg of it with many more to come.